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Pleased to Meet You: How to Introduce Sex Toys to Your Partner

Man on top of woman pulling her bra down
Pleased to Meet You: How to Introduce Sex Toys to Your Partner

Best Ways of Introducing Sex Toys to Your Partner

If the prospect of introducing sex toys to a partner gives you heart palpitations, you're not alone. For many of us, just the thought of adding a sex toy into the relationship can trigger feelings of shame and judgment. The first time I whipped out a vibrator, my partner froze and asked, "Aren't I good enough for you?" Needless to say, that relationship did not last long. The biggest fear most of us have when introducing sex toys is whether or not our partner will be accepting or just weirded out. While there is no "right time" or "right way" of introducing sex toys to your partner, bringing a sex toy into bed without warning is usually not the best route. 

To overcome the meet and greet sex toy jitters, here are some ways you can introduce old under-the-covers bestie to your new one. 

Introducing Sex Toys To Your PartnerSay Hello to My Little Friend

You don't have to be like Scarface and whip out all the stimulating fun all at once—especially if it's a new lover. Instead, take your time, and wait until you've had a few sexcapades under your belt before broaching the subject of sex toys. A little finesse goes a long way when building the bridge of trust and communication. 

Da Dun Dun!

It's the fear of the unknown that makes couples fearful about using sex toys together. So, before raising the topic of sex toys, consider doing some research. Having a deeper understanding of what sex toys offer can help put everyone's mind at ease. Locate some articles or stories about couples who use sex toys on a regular basis and share the information with your partner. What helped me with introducing sex toys was watching porn with couples using sex toys. Watching other people using sex toys together can help gauge your lover's reaction and can lead to a naturally flowing conversation. 

introducing sex toys to your partnerNo Yucking up the Yum

Sex toys associated with previous lovers can create all types of weirded out feelings. Besides, no one really wants to use sex toys that have pleasured former lovers. The best thing to do is to start with some fresh never-been-used sex toys. There's nothing like a brand pleasure product to make your current paramour feel more confident and self-assured. I recommend a trip to your local adult erotic boutique. Get the sexy wheel of fortune turning and check out the goods in person. This is a great way to test the sex toy waters with your lover. 

Praise Worthy

So, you've tried a couple of times and your partner is still not keen on the whole sex toy thing. That's okay! Drop the subject for a while and focus on something different. There are other ways to add excitement inside the bedroom without introducing sex toys. Offer your partner an opportunity for exploring other sensations like an erotic massage and then mix in a hand-held wand massager. Or try sexy role-playing outfits and scenarios. Offering your partner lots of praise and encouragement, especially when they hit those special spots, can make them feel more confident about using sex toys in the near future.

No Competition

The concept of "less is more" really helps when a partner is feeling less than secure. Instead of pulling out something resembling the real deal, why not start with a unique and artful design. For women, a small clitoral vibe like the Zumio S Caress can offer her precise clitoral stimulation during intercourse. And for the men, the KIIROO TITAN is a great alternative to the typical pocket pussy. 

Go for the External

Here's a true story. I had a lover who was extremely jealous of my pink jelly rabbit-vibrator. He would get mad at me for even using it during my solo masturbation sessions. What was odd though, is he did not get upset with the bullet vibe. Baffled and confused, I finally asked him why? And his answer was rather revealing. He did not like me using sex toys that go inside---because it made him think I was replacing him. I figured that if this confident lover felt this way about a vibrator, other men out there may be feeling the same way too. Introducing sex toys can be a complicated effort and often times agreement in using one all depends on the toy. If you have a lover who is reluctant with introducing sex toys into the bedroom, you may have to look at what is being presented. Perhaps, instead of internal objects, you can introduce an external one instead. I love the Womanizer and LELO Sona 2 not only because they are superior clitoral toys, but also because they look nothing like a sex toy at all.

Introducing Sex Toys Win-Win

No one likes feeling left out of the game. To make sure everyone reaps beneficial pleasure, how about introducing sex toys designed for two. For beginners, a couple of specific toys like the We-Vibe Pivot cock ring offer an array of sensations. If you’re looking for something more advanced, take a look at the We-Vibe Chorus. This cleverly shaped vibe allows each partner to enjoy sensual vibrations and gives you a whole lot of bang for your buck.
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