Review by Josef Sv
So, who remembers playing “Bop It!” as a kid? The hyperactive gadget spun sweat drops across your face with every call-to-action, barking in a “self-care, bro!” voice, commanding every slumber party with goofy authority. The circle-jerk of a game was about as awkward as puberty, as each player fumbled the toy before the power-bottom commander-in-chief yelped with pain (or was it pleasure?). If this was your go-to sleepover activity in your youth, stop whatever you’re doing and consider a gloved (and far less awkward) iteration for adults.
Much like “Bop It!”, The Finger-Fuck textured sex glove from Oxballs leaves the steering to the user, with five different experiences wrapped around your digits. I’m relatively new to the Oxballs arena; however, their reputation is unmistakable—the brand serves up every kind of grunty gizmo in the masc-for-masc category you could think of, with candy-popping colors and textures akin to Halloween treats. Luckily, this buttery accessory works on both ends and will have your partner screaming, “pull it, spin it, bop it!” in record time.
My husband and I were car camping in the mountains the first time we played with the glove; our car’s back seats fold down to make a perfect sleeping pad out in the woods, and we packed the glove along in case the mood presented itself. We came to find that the Oxballs glove is practically made for unconventional scenarios like this, where you might find yourself away from the usual set-up. Travel-sized and easy to use with little to no build-up or breakdown required, the glove was exactly what we needed in such tight quarters. Because each finger offers a different sensation, the Finger-Fuck expands foreplay into an all-night excursion, your heart’s desire as your driving force. It felt like I was devising a secret handshake with my bunkmate at summer camp, with plenty to write home about.
The first thing you’ll notice when pulling the glove around your hand is the blubbery texture, and while this will do wonders to your hole (trust me), you’ll definitely want to slicken the inside first. It makes the process a little less clunky, and you feel more command in your hand. Lubricant or even coconut oil works fine; just make sure it will keep your skin from drying out.
I don’t need to point fingers, but the middle digit of the glove is most akin to a dick; I would recommend you let her open the show for familiarity’s sake, then move on into experimenting with the rest of the squad. The glove’s thumb, for instance, looks like a clubbed toe that came to play. Historically, you’re probably more comfortable with the index finger, and that’s perfectly suitable with this glove, as its index finger is classically bumped with plenty of pokers and pops for your partner’s prodding. I found the index finger is also the easiest to manipulate when working on yourself, while some of the others are more effective on your partner’s hand.
The ring finger speaks for itself—if you’ve ever had the urge to get probed with a baker’s dozen of rings wrapped around the digit, this is your chance. It’s a swirling treat that surprised both myself and my partner. An interesting harmony is that of your index finger and the middle finger; due to its shape, the double-trouble textures of these two fingers feel a lot like protected sex and not in the chasted way. It’s similar to the “ribbed” condoms you’re probably familiar with and a nice alternative to the feeling of protection when using your fingers. Plus, more room to stuff means more room to grow.
The pinky is cute, too.
By now, you’ve probably wondered, “what can this glove do that I can’t do?” and the first thing you should understand is that this glove doesn’t replace your hand. If you’re actively listening to your partner while fingering and ensuring a slow and steady climb, this glove will simply add to your existing charm. It’s like having sex with a cock ring as opposed to not wearing one––same piece of meat, but, you know, swollen. And let’s not forget: you have two hands! Utilize the humanity of your bareback hand to softly pinch the nipples, or grab the sack, or plug the other hole. The Oxballs Finger-Fuck glove is your right-hand woman, ready to spark the evening. With five full digits dripping in scrunchy FLEXtpr (thermoplastic elastomer), your own creativity is the key to maximizing this toy to its full potential.
Caring for this new toy is super simple, too. We dropped it in a bucket of warm water and soap, let it air dry, then played with it again. The Oxballs Finger-Fuck is resilient and hyper-elastic. We’re talking Mrs. Incredible energy.
Take my advice: give the glove a hand (or two) and add a little fun and games to your regular sex agenda. Personal pleasure is no trick, but it ought to be as much fun as it is serious business.