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Discreet Holiday Sex Toys

The holidays can take a toll on our health and relationships. According to a recent study by PornHub, “world events have a huge impact on whether or not the population is accessing its website, and thereby masturbating.” In the United States alone, the number of people who were self-pleasuring was down 29% on Thanksgiving. Even worse, the statistics indicate that across the globe, self-love was down by 23% on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. That does not include the whopping 28% who forgo sex on New Year’s Eve. It’s no wonder tensions are running so high during the holiday season.

Alone Time During the Holidays

We understand it can be difficult having “alone time” with family and friends gathering around. The downward trend of pleasure is appalling! So, we’ve made it our mission to bump up the numbers this year. After all, masturbation is proven to boost the immune system, which is essential during the cold and flu season. Plus, regular orgasms help fight off seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which is at an all-time high during the holidays. Then when you factor in the obvious mood-boosting qualities of orgasms, it’s clear that not partaking is truly putting your health, not to mention your holiday fun, at risk.

To help inspire some covert moments of pleasure, we’ve compiled a list of discreet holiday sex toys that are quick and easy to disguise from prying eyes. Choose your favorite, fight the tryptophan coma, and find a quiet room to take fifteen minutes for yourself during these holiday celebrations. Your post-climax positive attitude will make this holiday really merry and bright!

Ohmibod Club Vibe 3.0H

If you are worried about your handbag falling open and your nosey nephew poking around your stuff, the JimmyJane Form 1 Panty Vibe is the way to go. Not only does this petite pleaser pack a punch, but you can also keep it securely tucked in the one place that no one will be none the wiser.

Discreet Holiday Sex ToysWomanizer Liberty


The neighbors will be over in 15 minutes and all the prep work is done. What is the fastest way to de-stress and get into party mode? The Womanizer Liberty will have you playing the ultimate host in no time. Your guests would thank you—if they only knew.


Fleshlight Quickshot Vantage Masturbation Sleeve

For the men, the best choice is the Fleshlight Quickshot. Petite and easy to hide, this silicone masturbation sleeve offers quick clean-up and undeniable pleasure with a delightful internal texture. Plus, if you can convince your partner to escape for a few minutes, it makes for a sensational blowjob.


Zalo Heart Personal Vibe

Discreet Holiday Sex ToysProbably the most discreet holiday sex toy, the Zalo Heart is perfectly molded to fit in the palm of your hand. Embellished with 18K gold plating and an adorable pendant you may want to treat others to orgasms this holiday season.


Discreet Holiday Sex Toys

 Perfect Fit Salaskin Male Masturbator

This male stroker may not look like much but it is a favorite among men who love discreet holiday sex toys. Crafted from soft, smooth silicone, this reusable masturbator has a delightfully textured inside that makes you want to forget all about the pending visit from your mother-in-law.


LELO MIA 2 USB Vibrator

discreet holiday sex toysWhisk right past that suspicious TSA agent this holiday season with the handy LELO MIA 2 USB Vibe. The perfect travel companion, this personal vibe lets you recharge using any available USB port. Plus, it’s so discreet and quiet, you may get away with a quicky just before landing.


Clandestine Mimic Clitoral Vibe

discreet holiday sex toysGive as good as you get this holiday season. And by that, we mean give yourself intense orgasms with the lightweight and super discreet Mimic Clitoral vibe. Crafted to fit in the palm of your hand, this clitoral stimulation morphs into the contours of your body, leaving you feeling refreshed and revitalized.


discreet holiday sex toysPoint Plus 20 Bullet Vibe

When quiet time is limited, whip out this little wonder and hit your sweet spot! Precise and pleasurable, this brand new Sensuelle bullet vibe offers 20 settings and 2 silicone nubs. The family will wonder why you’re always smiling at the dinner table.