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There’s been a lot talk lately about sex positivity. Even sex toy companies are embracing this ideology with hot new marketing ideas. But what does sex positivity really mean?

Wikipedia defines sex positive as being “an ideology promoting and embracing sexuality.” The editor also states, “a sex positive attitude encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation.”

ARE YOU EMBRACING THE SEX POSITIVITY MOVEMENT?

LET’S BEGIN WITH SEX NEGATIVE

We all have certain limits when it comes to sex. Some people simply won’t do anal while others won’t have sex without having an emotional bond. There are plenty of limits when it comes to sex. The good news is you can still have a sex-positive experience while remaining within their own limits. But a lot of people have stricter limits with sexual experimentation.

Here are some examples of being sex negative:

  • No premarital sex.
  • Sex for making babies only.
  • Women shall not derive any sexual pleasure, i.e. orgasms.
  • Missionary position sex only.

Why such self-imposing limits on sex? First, our society is taught that sex is something “dirty.” The overall conservative attitude is sex is something performed between a man and wife, right? Veer too far from the path, and you’ll be instantly labeled a whore, slut, or heathen. And who wants that?

LIBERALS HAVE ISSUES TOO

People with conservative values are not the only ones with sexual limits. Liberals have sexual hang-ups, too. For instance, polyamorous couples or those who have open relationships are often judged largely because it’s those communities are often understood.  Our society, once again, has taught us relationships should be monogamous. Although engaging in an open relationship is not for everyone, it’s still not a good idea to judge them.

OPEN YOUR MIND

Some people truly believe they are part of sex positivity movement! What I’ve noticed, however; is they are only sex-positive when it’s convenient or if it works for their agenda. I do not believe sex positive should be used as a marketing ploy to sell sex toys, but rather, an avenue to having open and honest conversations about sex in general. All too often, we place ownership on our partners after the honeymoon has ended. Having an open mind to sexual experimentation can lead to better understanding of sex positivity.

WAYS OF THINKING ABOUT SEX POSITIVITY

Keeping the spirit of openness and exploration is the key to being sex positive. First off, don’t take sex too seriously and always be open to trying new things with your partner. Here are some ways you can become a more sex-positive person.

  • Don’t set limits on yourself or your partner.
  • Step outside your comfort zone.
  • See sex from the other person’s point-of-view.
  • Never stop exploring!
  • Stop judging other people’s choices.
  • Laugh when things go wrong.

Here’s Stoya’s take one being sex positive with a video called Pea Mousse. She has a great way of putting things into perspective.

 

HOMEWORK

Relax, it’s just sex—is my mantra. I know there are plenty of people out there judging me right now for being so shameless. And that’s okay because you are entitled to an opinion.  But today, I am encouraging anyone who is reading this to stop and dig deep. Saying and doing are two different things. The only way you can be positive about anything is to never stop exploring. Really get to know what makes you feel good inside and out. And when you’re feeling positive about yourself, so will you completely understand the notion of sex positivity.

 

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