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How to Have Good Sex with Bad Back Pain

askava2-980x6681-300x204I suffer from severe back pain because of an accident. Unfortunately, the pain makes having sex virtually impossible. Just imagining back pain sex makes my everything seem worse. I love my wife and want so much to have a great sex life, but my pain prevents me from crossing beyond the threshold of kissing. I can see and feel that she is frustrated which makes me feel worthless. What suggestions do you have that can help us start having sex again?

Medical science is fascinating. When it comes to replacing blown hips, knees or a severed appendage—whip, snap, zip. You’re on the road to recovery! But when it comes solving insipid back pain sex—crickets! Chirp. Chirp. Chirp. Nada, nothin.’ No. Can. Do!

For people with severe back pain, just the thought of getting it on induces anxiety instead of arousing excitement. Sex is supposed to be fun and pleasurable. But for those who have severe back pain–not only does your sex life suffer, your relationship does too.

There are plenty of ways of showing your spouse some love her that don’t always rely on sexual penetration. Now is the time to start exploring your options of back pain sex with oral sex, sex toys, and alternative positions! Don’t be afraid of being creative. What you may find is that your sex life suddenly becomes much more colorful and fun.

Open Your Mouth

Communicate with your lady. Talking about your anxiety can help her understand that you have not lost interest in her. Let her know that you’re afraid of aggravating the pain. Be open about the things that do work for you and what gives you the most anxiety. It is not just the position that matters during sex. Having and enjoying sex is more than just the performance. It’s about creating an intimate connection through sharing new pleasures.

Back pain sexPrep Work

For a lot of couples, sex is something that happens when the mood spontaneously strikes. Some even believe that planning makes sex less meaningful or enjoyable. But nothing could be further from the truth.

You can still have amazing back pain sex! Although it may be difficult, try relaxing the affected muscles by having your partner join you in a warm bath or shower, or by giving you a gentle massage as part of the foreplay. The Center Stage is a great platform for back pain sex. The supportive inner foam core lets you position yourself comfortably and is narrow enough for straddling. Plus, the bolster that comes with the Center Stage can really offer back sex pain some additional support for your hips and knees.

Pole Position

Back pain sexPart of the prep work for having back sex pain is a plan on how you want to do it. You might need to try out some simple positions at first until you find the right one that works for both of you.

Incorporating the Wedge/Ramp Combo can give you some valuable positioning options while preparing for the penetrable act.

Back pain sexStart by laying flat on your back using the Ramp’s incline. You’ll be able to take the pressure off of your lower back by maneuvering the Wedge underneath the knees. The incline and support of the Wedge/Ramp Combo will allow your partner to straddle you in comfort and move at a comfortable pace.

You can also use the Shapes for a modified (standing) doggy-style position. By stacking 2 to 3 Liberator Lifts under the Wedge/Ramp Combo, you’ll reduce the pressure on your back and your partner will be at just the height.

Where’s the Fire?

With back sex pain, there is no need to rush. You can have loads of fun with foreplay. Now is your chance to explore the art of lovemaking and get to know your partner in a whole new, sensual way. Because you may not be as spry as you once were, choosing sensuality over sexuality puts everything is a whole new light.


Back pain sex

Undress for Success

Thoughtful preparation goes a very long way when dealing with back sex pain. When you are in the throes of passion, you are not always paying attention and can turn in the wrong direction. And nothing kills the mood faster when you’re struggling to get the clothes off.  So before you’re ready to get it on, it’s important to take it all off, slowly!

Alternate Route ‘O’

Sometimes penetration is just too painful to perform. But there are plenty of other ways you can give your partner pleasure while showing how much you love her. Oral sex, sex toys, and mutual masturbation are all useful methods during back sex pain. However, the most important part of taking an alternate route is first discussing what you both like. Explore and experiment with new ways of giving and receiving pleasure. You may just find some things that will blow both of your minds.

Feast on This!

Back pain sexFor oral sex, you can have your partner sit on your face. The only movement required is the use of your tongue. Using the Liberator Heart Wedge will give your neck the right amount of support while she rides your face. This Shape can also be used to provide better back support while she performs the oral on you.

When it comes to sex toys, there are a plethora of couples options. The LELO SONA Cruise is one sex toy that lets you give her direct clitoral pleasure.

Mutual masturbation is another way of demonstrating your passion and desire. Not only this types of play extremely erotic, you’ll also reap the benefits of getting off while being in a relaxed state. So if you’re looking for a more meaningful connection during bad back sex, try masturbating together. It’s like having dinner and a show all right within the comfort of your bed.

Back pain sexThe Silver Lining

The great part about back sex pain is having the unlimited use of your imagination. If you’re up for it, why not spice things up in the bedroom with some role-playing? It does not have to be elaborate. For instance, you can be a varsity football star while she cheers her way into bed. With the power of imagination, anything and everything is possible!

Role-playing does not require much movement other than the power of the brain. Through your mind, role-playing serves as a diversion from the reality of physical pain. In fact, engaging in the erotic arts can raise the spirits and elevate your mood which is known to decrease the pain receptors. Plus, having an orgasm also relaxes the body. And when you’re relaxed, you will feel less pain. 

Now, Go and Enjoy!

Suffering from back pain does not mean doom you to living a celibate life. It’s quite the opposite. With a tiny bit of preparation, imagination and creative thinking you’ll be able to boost your libido! You’ll find experimenting with foreplay, positions, sex toys and mixing in some role-playing may actually create a magical spark for a better sex life. It’s just a matter of being open with your partner and enjoying the process as it unfolds.


Asked by you, answered by Ava

Everyone’s love life deserves a second opinion. Ava is here to answer questions about Liberator products, your sex life, or sex in general. Curious about the best sex positions for a bad back? Wondering how to fit your playtime into a busy schedule? Trying to find the perfect toy to surprise your spouse with? Ava is here to help.

Email your question to  And don’t worry—your secret is safe with her. We will not reveal your name or contact information at any point.

So ask away! No question is too small or too far out!