Gentlemen, it’s time to give up on the traditional romantic gestures of flowers and candy and take a different approach—taming the wild beast that lives in your underpants. Waxing, a hair removal method typically reserved for women, is widely ignored men partly because it sounds so barbaric. But contrary to popular belief, going bare down there can actually feel quite pleasurable, and it does have its benefits. Plus, the gesture of a wiping the slate clean demonstrates how much you care about spicing things up.
Curious if this wax on, wax off experience will make you hurt like the Karate Kid when the Cobra Kai swept his leg out from under him? From the female perspective, waxing is not as harsh as it sounds or looks. In fact, some women have been known to experience heights of pleasure, especially when the hot (it’s not scorching guys) wax is applied by beautiful, tender-handed esthetician. One caveat for the inexperienced is that once the wax is applied, the strip has to be ripped off quickly [with all of the hair attached] so it may sting for about 10 seconds—leaving any sane person to wonder about this crazy, hair-ripping ritual. As the saying goes, beauty knows no pain!
So, to help make your transition from Hairy Scary to Sexy Kojak a little less daunting, we’ve consulted with an award-winning professional on the specifics of manscaping.
Having your family jewels examined, and then suddenly, having your delicate hairs removed is something most men won’t submit to voluntarily. That’s why it’s important to book an appointment with a well respected professional who’s been trained to remove hair from all parts of the body on both men and women. A good esthetician will help to minimize the pain with effective relaxation and breathing techniques. Before you know it, the session is over, and you’ve got a nice, slick undercarriage.
Getting waxed can be an arousing experience, especially when you’ve got some lady with soft hands and fingers manhandling your junk. Don’t worry, a professional won’t get flustered or offended when such situations arise. More than likely, they have seen it all, and won’t be phased by your raging wood. The waxer will take their time to get you refocused on the task in hand. Do your part though, don’t make it weird with inappropriate jokes or gestures.
Below the Equator
The “manzillian” is one of the most popular services for men. It’s the male equivalent of the infamous brazilian bikini wax which involves the removal of every speck of hair located in your underwear. This includes the pelvic area, above the penis, around (and on) the testicles, your taint, the anal region, and finally, up the ass crack. Some men balk at the idea of hot wax in such a delicate areas, but our professional assures us that it’s absolutely worth it. In fact, the hot (remember it’s not piping hot) wax can help reduce the temporary sting associated with hair removal, particularly around the anus. The rewards (see, there are great benefits to waxing) makes anal access and play even more stimulating. Plus, having bare tesicles will make them feel more sensitive to the touch.
Wash up before you show up
We are going to say this on behalf of every esthetician that waxes do-dads for a living. Please gentlemen, as a kindness to your service provider, wash your frank and beans before you show. There is a good reason for this, other than manners, a thorough cleansing makes waxing so much more efficient. Dirt, oil, and sweat can hamper the hair removal process, making it more difficult for the hair to be quickly removed which then becomes more painful for you. On another note, if you’re embarrassed about your bush, our professional recommends that you do not shave that area before hand, since shorter hair is difficult to remove.
Slough It Off
Any area that you plan on having manscaped—be it your chest, back, or other regions—should be exfoliated a few days before your appointment—not the day of your appointment. A gentle exfoliator scrubs off layers of dead skin and can prevent ingrown hairs. When choosing an exfoliant, don’t be cheap. Find a product that’s all natural and has no pore-clogging mineral oil. You can concoct your own organic scrub by combining 1 cup of raw sugar with ¼ cup of honey and a ¼ cup of lemon juice.
Dirt Does Hurt
Would you eat at a dirty restaurant that allows diners to reuse utensils and double-dip chips? Probably not. Unsanitary conditions like dirty wax pots, used strips, filthy uniforms, over flowing trash cans, used applicators, and unclean implements is not only unprofessional, but an indicator that your waxer does not care about your genitals. Plus, these kinds of conditions can lead to seriously gross consequences. Waxing is not surgery, but it does requires a sterile environment, especially when done around the genitals. The wooden wax applicator (which looks like a popsicle stick or tongue depressor) should always be tossed after every wax application. If there is double dipping, get up, put your drawers on, and walk out. Reusing anything that has touched your body, contaminates the hot wax pot which could lead to cooties on your private parts.
Our professional has waxed plenty of men, and her advice is simple. Don’t expect your new man-do to instantly seduce your partner. It might be tempting to simply drop trou, and yell “ta-da!” while pointing to your impressive “present.” But don’t be too surprised if you notice a WTF expression on your partners face. Just like any other sexy gift, create some mystery and magic by setting up the reveal. For example, you can blindfold your partner and then slowly guide their hand across your body and into your pants, or doing a striptease never hurts either. By making your partner the center of attention, they will know that this new you was all for their pleasure, not yours.
Dare to Share
Before your dare to go bare, you might want to talk it out with your partner. For some couples, this kind of unexpected change can be shocking, confusing, and well, just plain weird. Who knows, they may surprise you with a great recommendation, or give a few tips on how to get through it all. If they are into getting waxed themselves, you can book a couples appointment. The moral support is good for the sex drive. When the deed is done, go home, and thoroughly enjoy each others bald spots.
For those of you still reluctant—that’s okay. Call a salon that specializes in waxing, and go for a consultation. The most important part of waxing your delicate undercarriage is to always remain calm and relaxed, and don’t forget to breath. The reward—smooth, soft, and sexy skin for weeks to come and a partner that will likely enjoy exploring your the newly mowed terrain.