As clichéd as it sounds, there is truth in that “the brain is the largest sex organ.” That’s because the brain itself is hard wired to experience pleasures of the flesh. When it really comes down to sexual desire, your brain is doing most of the work and the body just follows along. However, you can’t have one without the other. Not to get all scientific here, but no two individuals are sexually wired the same way. Everyone has their own wants, needs, and desires—but with the brain being the commander-in-chief in the sex department, things can get a little confusing.
What it really boils down to is that most of the population is wired for hard-core physical attraction sex aptly named active sexuality. But then, there are some who are less active and more on the touchy-feely side with receptive sexuality, while a few are engaged energetically/spiritually with transformational sexuality. Oh yeah, then there are the lucky few who have the bonus prize of being bundled with the combination of all three.
Here’s a breakdown of the three most prominent categories of sexual wiring. Which one are you?
The Heat Seeker
On any given day, most of us experience the familiar rush of lustful desires which comes from having an active sexuality. This is mostly the result of higher levels of certain hormones such as testosterone. Basically, the hormones override all logic, and the brain becomes this impulsive driving force wanting the release that physical sex provides.
If you think about it, humans would cease to exist without this wiring. However, with anything good comes the downside too. If you allow your hormones and brain have too many unchecked communications, it could result in a more frenetic sexual appetite that may lead to sexual addiction, lack of intimate connection, and a preference for masturbation over partner contact. Physical sex is great, but without having that intimate connection, it’s akin to sport fucking. You can easily create a balanced active sexuality by feeling the contact and being conscious of your mechanical movements.
The Pleasure Seeker
This wiring can be a little tricky because it requires an equitable distribution between the emotional part of you along with a physical connection. For the receptive sexuality type, sex is a laid-back experience. Sort of like a cat sitting in the warm sunlight. Although most cats like lots of tender petting, there are certain limits which can be overwhelming when things get too pushy. For those of you receptively wired, massage, romance, talk, touch, candles, and languishing in the intimacy has greater pleasure than the physical act itself. It’s the emotional connection over sex that creates more meaningful experience. However, the flip side of this kind of wiring is just as complicated and can cause you to become a lazy lover unwilling to return the favors. Create a balanced sex life by giving yourself permission to be a little more assertive when it comes to giving.
The Tantric Seeker
The minority of those who fit within this wiring construct, energetic sexuality can be utterly transformative. Since you have keen ability to sense things before they actually occur, the passion feels more intense during the physical act of sex. Also, because you can access higher states of pleasure, experiencing altered states of consciousness while making love is not unheard of. However, the shadow side for most energetic sexual types is that you have a tendency to float off into the ethers which can stop the flow of pleasure when things become increasingly physical. To maintain an equal balance between too much energy and the sex act itself, take a few deeps breaths to keep your body grounded.
No matter how you’re wired, sex can be experienced in a myriad of ways. Although you may be wired one way, it does not mean it has to completely dominate your sex life. Sex can be all-encompassing, where you get truly experience its physical, emotional, and transformative benefits. There are so many aspects to giving and receiving pleasure, and with more people honoring the sensual and spiritual parts of sex, the opportunities are endless. So, the next time you plan on engaging with your partner, take some time to connect with your wiring and see which resonate the most. Who knows, you just might be pleasantly and pleasurably surprised.1