Pin It

Using a toy harness and  a dildo for sex requires a bit more finesse and forethought. This is because without the skin-on-skin contact, the giver has to pay more attention to the signals the receiver is sending out. But when done correctly, you’ll find that the naughtiness of using a harness, coupled with the new view, can feel extremely sexy, arousing and exciting!

liberator-valkyrie-two-strap-harness-pinkFor the purpose of writing this article, my boyfriend and I used a toy harness to research anal sex on him. Which, by the way, he really enjoys! Also, all of the following position suggestions can easily be applied to a dildo for vaginal penetration. To keep this article simple and brief, I’ll be using the word “giver” which represents (me) the one wearing the harness, and “receiver”, the person’s preferred orifice that is receiving the dildo.

For starters, one of the easiest positions, for anal play, is when the giver is sitting on a flat surface with the receiver situated comfortably on the giver’s lap. It’s easy for the receiver to adjust the entry and stimulation (vitally important for anal sex) while the giver’s hands are free to support the receiver’s body, or play with the receiver’s breasts and genitals. As long as the sitting surface is comfortable and supportive, the giver’s hips shouldn’t feel too strained under the impact of motion. This position also allows the receiver to choose the direction of the ride—up and down is essential for depth control, but another pleasurable way, is a forward and backward rocking motion.


Another toy harness play position is for the giver to lie back with their head elevated. It makes it more fun to watch all of the yummy action. Though it’s easier to watch, the giver’s hands may be too far away to provide extra stimulation.  With a slight adjustment, the giver can raise their knees while the receiver tilts forward. That simple adjustment allows for more kissing and touching. Now, if you are especially athletic, the receiver can support the giver’s weight on their arms and slowly pull their feet up to rest up against the giver’s shin. During this position, the receiver can support their weight with their feet (against the giver’s shin) and on their upper arms. However, this is definitely a advanced position and may not be held for too long if your first starting out.

Here’s an additional novice position tip and one that is great for couples into domination play. Have the receiver bend over a proper-height object. This expose the genitals, and the hip support allows for a wider spread of the legs. The giver can enter from behind while the receiver gently guides the dildo inward. Once inserted, the receiver can easily maneuver their body and control thrusting. Spice things up a bit, and let the giver grip onto the hips for more forceful action. You can also tangle the hand into the receiver’s hair and tug, use a flogger on the receiver’s back, or slightly lean over and fondle the receiver’s breasts.


For many first timers, there may be some performance anxiety associated with toy harness anal play. So before moving forward with the real deal, you can try it with a toy mount. Using a toy mount is similar to a dress rehearsal and helps the receiver become familiar with positioning and new sensations associated with anal sex. You’ll both be able to have fun exploring and will build a level a trust that’s important for the live event. Before you know it, you’ll both become experts in the art of harness play.

Most couples really love how anal play creates a deeper and intimate connection. By exploring this pleasure together, you could eventually raise the bar with the Tantus Feeldoe. With the Tantus Feeldoe there is more skin-to-skin contact and both parties get to feel stimulating pleasure through an optional vibrating bullet. However, the Feeldoe is not recommended for beginners. This innovative sex toy does not tantus_feeldoeslim_1require the use of a harness, but rather it is worn internally by the giver and held in place by squeezing the PC muscles thus tightening the grip of the anus or vagina. This requires a bit more control that experience only brings. But once you get the hang of it, the effort is well worth the pleasure you both will receive.

Exploring the art of toy harness play can really open couples up new heights of passion. I know my boyfriend and I had quite a bit of fun figuring out these positions. It really allowed us to try something new while we worked on some new communication skills. Remember if something does not feel right, don’t be shy, say something. With that said, why not be creative and invent some positions of your own. If you need some inspiration, check out some of these amazing sex positions!