Hello, Liberator Lovers! I’m launching a new advice category called Kiss & Tell: Ask Lila, and you’re invited to join. Feel free to hit me up about sex-related questions—nothing is taboo. While I’m not a licensed sex therapist, I can contribute some useful tips and tricks, plus a unique, open-minded perspective. So send me your sauciest stories and most candid questions and read my responses right here on Unzipped!
Kelly, 26 --- What if my partner thinks I shouldn’t use sex toys?
It’s your body! You do what you wanna do! Have a real convo with your lover and discuss why they have a problem with it. It’s HIS problem, not yours. Your partner needs to approach sex with an open mind and get educated about vaginas. With guys, there’s frequently a misunderstanding about women’s anatomy. They think that a woman’s vagina will get stretched out. Nope, that’s not how the amazingly elastic vajajay works. Depending on arousal, it can expand and contract quite a bit. That’s why gals can use a monster dildo from Bad Dragon and still grip cock like a vise! The more you know…
Now, vibrators can desensitize a clit and make it more challenging to orgasm during oral or penetrative sex. In my experience, though, it isn’t much of a problem unless you overuse your vibrator. How do you know if you’re overusing it? Is it smoking? Does it hide from you? Do you wear a hard hat and safety goggles when you pull out your wand? I try to alternate the kinds of toys I use, including clit, suckers, wands, bullet vibes, pussy pumps. Surprise your clit with new sensations to keep things *spicy*!
Storytime! Insecurity is never sexy. I used to have a boyfriend who was very insecure about me using a vibrator, so much so that he made me throw it away (I was young and far too accommodating). However, this was unfair and short-sighted. I understood his jealousy — he was undersized and suffered from erectile dysfunction. He was incapable of long fuck sessions, yet he wanted to be the only source of my sexual satisfaction. I felt trapped, frustrated, and furious that he was controlling my access to easy orgasms. He couldn’t take away my hand or my jacuzzi tub. I should have ditched him instead of the vibrator. (Eventually, I did.)
Present day, I love seeing my hubs jack off and come, and he loves watching me with a toy. He knows that no matter how awesome that clit sucking, G-spot fucking, booty-bead buzzing toy is, it can never replace the intimacy we share. Sex toys can’t cuddle with you post-sex. They can’t bring you a cocktail and a fried bologna sandwich. They can’t laugh with you about how you squirted all over the bed and scared the dog.
Getting your partner off is sexy, and the next best thing is watching your partner get off with a great toy. So, instead of being intimidated or offended by incorporating toys, your partner should be excited about the possibilities for pleasure. Anything that enhances your pleasure enhances theirs too! When you are more comfortable pleasuring yourself, you can guide your partner better to your sweet spots. Or have mutual masturbation sessions.
Steven, 35 — I’m not as well-endowed as I’d like. What can I do to enhance my cock?
So glad you asked! Cocks are my specialty. Outside of expensive, painful surgery that might result in erectile dysfunction or useless saline injections that make your cock feel like a water wiggler, there are several easy, relatively cheap solutions. From cock rings, to cock sheaths to sex pillows and furniture, Liberator is all about giving cocks a GROW-Up.
I’ve noticed that cock rings are gaining popularity, and for good reason! They enhance size, thickness, performance, and circulation. Usually made from body-safe silicone, these O-shaped marvels keep your cock longer and harder and delay ejaculation (added benefit if you cum quickly). How do they work? They pull your testicles down and won’t let them contract, even slowing your orgasm speed down from 6 seconds to 45 seconds.
There are lots of different cock rings out there, depending on what kind of experience you seek—cock rings that look like tiny donuts, cock rings with multiple loops to circle your cock and balls, vibrating cockrings, and cock rings attached to butt plugs. All of them can make your lover call him James, not Jimmy. ;-)
Check out the pics below for my cockiest recommendations!
Buoy Medium Cock Ring Oxballs Trisport Cocksling
Thunderbunny Vibrating Cock Ring B-Vibe Vibrating Snug N Tug
If you are looking for length AND girth beyond what cock rings can offer, try cock sheaths! They are great for any guy wanting to give his lover a little (or a LOT) extra. My hubs is very gifted, but we sometimes use one for different sensations. Variety is sexy! What are cock sheaths, you ask? They look like an extra long, chubby cock, definitely far above the average size, with a hollow interior where you put your cock and a ring that goes around your balls to hold it in place.
Some cock sheaths are close-ended, while some are open-ended, leaving your head exposed for added sensation. You won’t get to feel your lover’s subtle inner landscape directly, but you’ll still feel a lot of interesting, pleasurable sensations. And your lover feels FULL. Be sure to use plenty of lube because the silicone sheath creates a lot of friction.
Oxballs Butch Adjustable Cocksheath Oxballs Invader Cocksheath
Is your lover a lady? Don’t worry about her wanting the sheath more than you. It’s a novel feeling but can’t compare to the real YOU. And like I mentioned before, her vjay will shrink to its previous size.
Wedge Jaz
What else can you do?
Giving yourself the proper cushion for better pushin’ is essential! Sex pillows like the Wedge, Jaz or Wedge Ramp Combo provide a sturdy, stable platform so you can thrust deeper and harder.
This is so important on memory foam mattresses that sink under you–know what I mean? The Wedge and Jaz are small enough to keep on your bed or stowed nearby for quick access.
You can use the Wedge Ramp Combo on or off the bed, and it gives you a fantastic stage for the Mating Press Position. I love this position, especially for slightly shorter peen, because it hits the clit and the G-spot at the same time.
Andrea, 42 — I discovered that I’m a squirter! It’s super exciting but messier than I was prepared for. What can I do to protect my bedding and furniture? Towels aren’t working and I don’t wanna sleep in a puddle.
Ah, you lucky gusher! Nothing says I’m in the throes of passion quite like squirting. Liberator has an entire collection of products designed to keep your love juices in one place—-enter the Fascinator! Fascinator throw blankets have an absorbent, velvety-soft outer layer that’s dense, plush, and dreamy to the touch, with an inner moisture-proof barrier. Liberator makes four sizes: King, Queen, Travel, and Mini.
The king-size Fascinator is large enough to cover the top of a queen-size bed. Get wild with lubes, food play, period sex, water sports, blowjobs, and muff diving—nothing is getting through the Fascinator! Take the Travel and Mini sizes with you on wild romps wherever you go, and you won’t have to worry about staining upholstery, getting dirty, or leaving wet spots. Even better---no more sleeping in a wet spot!
If you’re concerned about lube-covered sex toys or storing your fave vibrators, lubes and dildos, Liberator has you covered! The Fascinator Toy Pad protects your nightstand from lubes and liquids. It’s perfect for stashing your used toys until you can clean them up. In the same vein, the Fascinator Bedside Storage Caddy tucks under your mattress, with two pockets that can hold sex toys, lubes, condoms, remotes, cellphones, whatevs.
Best of all, everything in the Fascinator Collection is completely machine washable. After you unleash the pussy tsunami, toss the blanket in the wash on cold and tumble dry low.
Whatever burning sex questions, you’ve got, send ‘em in! Anal August is coming up in just a few days, celebrating everything bootylicious. Curious about BDSM? Dealing with a wild relationship issue? I want to hear about it and get into it! Email me, Lila, at kissandtell@liberator.com.
