

Sex isn’t just for the bedroom. You might think, whoa, pump the brakes, right? But let’s talk about it. Sexual energy is about more than just having intercourse or masturbating (though obviously, love that). It requires a more conscious connection, being present and aligned with yourself, your needs, and your body.
So often, sex becomes a box to be checked off, whether you’re flying solo or in a relationship. Get it in, get off, and be done with it. Even if you’re having super steamy passionate lovemaking, sexuality may end up contained to the confines of the bedroom. That’s where the erotic lifestyle comes into play.
The erotic lifestyle is exactly as it sounds: liberating sensuality from the banishment of the bedroom and welcoming it into other aspects of your everyday life. It’s about self-care, reigniting passion, and having a little (or a lot of) fun.
Building eroticism into your daily life has plenty of benefits. And when we say eroticism, we don’t strictly mean sex or having sex. Eroticism can be feeling sexy and playing in that energy with a partner. Gaining that confidence and learning to take pressure off of yourself is key to being able to fully enjoy an erotic lifestyle.
In her blog, sexual wellness counselor Molly Wilson, PhD, writes about connecting with your body, “Move your body in a way that makes you feel good. Dance around your living room to some fun sexy tunes. Light a pleasant smelling candle or put on some lotion or cologne that you like. What’s a food that makes you feel good to eat? Track that down and indulge yourself.”
Physically stimulating your senses in these ways and intentionally interacting with that pleasure can help connect you to your sexy side. And the best part is that these are all easy and accessible ways to start connecting with yourself or your partner. Getting in touch with your or your partner’s body and its needs in a way outside of traditional intercourse opens up doors of communication, confidence, and connection.
Ways to Incorporate Eroticism into Daily Life
There are tons of ways to incorporate that sexy touch into your daily life.
One simple way that can be done solo or with a partner is a lotion or oil massage. Easy to work into any nightly routine, pick your favorite scented or unscented lotion or oil and work it against your or your partner’s skin. Really take your time and be mindful of the sensations. Find new sensitive zones on your body and luxuriate in the care and attention.
The Denver-based Cannon Institute for Sex and Intimacy calls this style of sensual everyday care “building pleasure rituals.”
“When you set aside time to enjoy your senses, you will feel more in tune with your body,” the website reads. “Contemporary life is so busy that we often forget the importance of experiencing intimate pleasure. Find time every day to engage with your senses in simple, pleasurable ways.”
Bringing in the Spice




Dressing up is another option that can provide fun surprises. Put on something sexy, or, if you’d like to really titillate your partner, incorporate lingerie into unassuming everyday wear.
Accompany your partner in public with it and show a sneak peek - it’ll be for your and their knowledge only, and there’s something very sexy about keeping a naughty secret, especially when it implies that there’s more saved for later. If that style of subtle exhibitionism or voyeurism gets you going, you can take it a step further with a wearable vibrator or couple’s toy.
For our friends with clitorises, these types of toys are meant to be discreetly worn inside the panty or underwear. They come with either a remote or a phone app that controls whether it’s on or off, vibrational speeds, and more. Designed to be silent, the toy can be worn to a date night, movie night, or just out on the town. Another option is an anal plug (some have remote-controlled vibrations, too!), or a vibrating cock ring.
Having something to hide can be exhilarating if you’re feeling adventurous.
An investment that brings form and function into the mix would be something like positional pillows or furniture, designed specifically for intimate moments. A pillow like the Liberator Heart Wedge is charming and discreet, doubling as a chic piece of decor that can sit out on the bed. In use, the pillow supports you for all of your favorite positions and reduces strain for lengthy oral sessions and the like.
By having it decorate your room, it’ll give you and your partner a little thrill to set eyes on it. Only you have to know what it’s really for! If you’re looking for an even greater luxury, a piece like the bestselling Aria really takes it up a notch.
It’s convertible, so it’s engineered to fold up into a pretty bench that sits at the foot of your bed. When it’s time to play, you just take the slip cover off and unfold it to find the perfect configuration for your favorite positions. By having the piece be a part of your everyday life, it’ll come up in the corner of your eye, sit in the back of your mind, and inspire you towards spontaneous, sexy fun.
More than anything, the erotic lifestyle is meant to align you with your own sexual energy, which looks different for every person. Shed your inhibitions and experiment with what you like. Sex tends to be something we refrain from discussing, but communication is key. Liberate yourself and embrace your erotic life!

