9 Ways to Keep the Sexual Spark Alive
It takes work keeping that sexual spark alive. The longer the relationship with someone, the more likely things end up becoming routine. Add constant distractions like mobile devices, binge-watching 3 seasons of Stranger Things and updating social media profiles into the mix, it's no wonder couples are not having sex as often.
When you're not having sex, the sexual desire can start fading. And once it moves beyond the point of no return, getting your mojo rising again can be somewhat of a challenge. Come to think of it--sex is a lot like speaking a foreign language or playing a musical instrument. The more you do it, the more it likely becomes an integral your being. So, if you are beginning to experience the libido fizzle---not is the time for a sexual re-swizzle.
Go on Dates
For a lot of couples, the honeymoon phase can start dwindling after the first year or two. Once you're settled in, date nights that were once so special can end up becoming nights in sitting on the couch wearing sweatpants and watching Netflix.
Keeping the sexual spark alive takes work. You can't just do it once and expect your sex life to turn around. No, it's not like having a second job, but if you really value your sex life---it's time to devote some time to it. You don't have to drop a wad of cash when going out. Keep it simple by making a romantic dinner together in the nude, (wear aprons if you're cooking bacon :)) or scheduling an at-home couples massage. Part of the fun in keeping the sexual spark alive is being creative when planning your dates. Do things that have always been on your must-do list.
Don't Forget the Flirt
Remember the flirt? The feeling that flirting created when you were with your object of desire. After a certain amount of time being together--the flirt starts to dwindle. However, flirting can be a great way of jumpstarting that spark! Flirting is fun! Some of you might say, "But the Cosmo Bedside Astrology said..do this!" Please...don't follow someone else's rules or guidelines. Flirt on your own terms by leaving little naughty love notes in unexpected places. Like they say, once you learn how to ride a bike, you will never forget. The same goes for flirting.
Talk About IT
Most people dread talking about death and sex and taxes. We get why death is taboo, and that taxes are a non-starter, but sex should be a part of an everyday conversation. To add the spark back to your sex life sometimes we have to open our mouths to get the things we want. And if you want to keep that sexual spark alive, that means sharing your feelings. To make the process feel less awkward, let your lover know how they make you feel good. Then bring up the improvements. If you find verbalizing a challenge, then perhaps write your concerns in a hand-written letter. Outline the things you feel need work while praising your partner for the amazing things. All it really takes in keeping the sexual spark alive is just simply being honest and communicating.
Quality, Not Quantity
A lot of sex -- does not mean always mean the best sex. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves when it comes to our sex lives. One way is counting how often you have sex during the week. Rather than an accounting, why not focus on the quality? Adding a spark back into the relationship does not mean having to count how many times you have sex in a week or month. What matters most is the quality---remembering what you love the most about your hot sessions and making them better.
Sneaky Sex
The "forbidden fruit" is known to amp things up in your sex life. Examples of that are having quiet sex behind locked doors while the children are watching TV, lovemaking in your childhood bedroom while visiting your parents, visiting your partner at work and having quickie sex on the couch in a locked office. Having sneaky sex is a great way of adding that spark back into your sex life and boosting your libido.
Fantasy Land
Creativity and sex are the perfect pairings. It's hard to have one without the other. So, when creativity is lacking it can also affect your sex life. One of the best ways of keeping the sexual spark alive is by roleplaying your fantasies. For example, nurse and patient, master or dominatrix, stripper and customer, stuffed teddybear and cuddler, famous movie star and star-struck fan. The sky's the limit when it comes to fantasies. While you're at it why not invest in a few costumes to make things feel more realistic or add sex toys as a teasing element. The girl scout selling cookies at the door is a winner for us.
Be the Pleaser
Often times, sex drives can feel mismatched. One person wants sex and the other would prefer a good nap. One of the best ways in dealing with a dwindling sex drive is to be the pleaser. Putting fewer expectations on your partner to give back will help in boosting their sex potential. So, if your lover is tired or not in the mood, you can simply offer your services for their pleasurable gain. More than likely, the stimulation may help boost their libido and eagerness to add more spark into the relationship.
Little Helpers
You gotta love sex toys when it comes to keeping the sexual spark alive! They never get tired, they come in all shapes and sizes and they can be used in a variety of ways. We love sex toys that can be used during intercourse. Vibrating cock rings are a great way of adding extra stimulation while having sex. But our all-time favorite is the wearable couples vibe. The LELO Tiani 3 is the perfect pitch hitter giving pleasure for both him and her.
Just Do It!
Keeping the spark alive does require determination. If at first, you don't succeed, try and try and try again. Eventually, your brain will catch up and want more pleasure. Don't give in to procrastination. When the opportunity presents itself, even if the situation is not optimal, just DO IT! Whether it's a quickie handjob or a bent-over poke in the hallway --- doing it is half the challenge. Don't let your mind make excuses --- give your body and mind the power and watch the sparks fly!
