Stress is a sex life killer. It inhibits your ability to have an orgasm, it keeps you from being present with your partner, and it dampens your desire to even want to get sexy at all. Stress sucks.
What should you do about it?
We all get stressed; it's when stress is the highest that we forget the importance of connection, making out, and doing the deed. When your two-year-old head butts you, you loose your job, you've got to find a new house, and the world seems to be crashing down around you, the last thing you might think about is languishing in your lover's arms. But your lover's arms just might be the best place to be so that you can get your head clear and function at the top of your game.
Sex is a stress life killer. It helps you relax, it can encourage the production of lots of feel-good hormones, and it's good for your health. Sex is awesome.
Go From Stressed to Sexed in 4 Easy Steps
- Start slow. Yes, it takes time, but you can't afford to stay in this disconnected, stressed-out state. Take the time. Start by closing your eyes and just lightly stroke each others bodies. Stay there for a long time, just stroking and going to a quiet, almost meditative, place. Rushing might bring on more stress.
- Pay attention to sensation. When your mind goes back to the stress, bring it to the sensation of your lover's fingertips on your skin. Notice every sensation that you can, and keep your mind focused there.
- Deepen your breath. Changing your normal breathing pattern can help you get into a different state of being. When I was studying acting, we would breathe in certain ways to bring on different emotional states. Take deep, full breaths, inhaling fully, then let the breath just fall out of your body with a sigh.
- Don't give up. The arousal will come to you eventually. Just the other night I was beyond stressed. My partner knows that when I'm like that, he just needs to make love to me. I thought my body would never respond. There were a few times that I wanted just to tell him to quit, but I didn't. I started to pay attention, I changed my breath, I had him stroke me all over. It took awhile, but eventually the arousal happened, and we both had phenomenal orgasms. It might take you a little while when you are highly stressed, but it's worth the effort. Believe me, afterward we felt a million times better.
And if all the above fails, you might need to be tied up and spanked. Seriously! Sometimes it takes the opposite of what's intuitive to get people snapped out of their heads and into their bodies.
A stroke, a spank, a tongue, deep penetration; find that thing that brings you into your body and sparks your desire. It's there, I promise.