Today’s review is all for the guys. Well, no, it’s really not. Today’s review is for everyone regardless of gender or marital status. We are looking at Tenga eggs which are cute, small self contained male masturbators that come in a variety of styles. I, being in a long distance relationship, find them to be heaven sent. They are so small and discreet that I can easily mail them or have them shipped for him to keep without his apartment mates wondering what they are. They really are about the size of a large egg and there is nothing vulgar on the packaging at all.


For Him:


Due to the fact I lack a penis most of the male side of this review comes from my other half. The eggs come with their own lube package to be used with the product. Open up the outside packaging and pull the lube packet out and pour the lube into the egg and around the entrance. Though the eggs look small they stretch to fit a good sized penis. I do mean a good sized penis. Size small to size large will fit nicely. If you are one of those guys with a 12 inch cock (*cough liars*) you might want to look elsewhere for your pleasure. As with almost any male masturbator they make a squishy awkward noise when in use. The noise level on the eggs isn’t that bad however which is good for thin walls of an apartment. My boyfriend also says that the lube stays contained within the egg instead of leaking all over him which he considers to be a major bonus. The eggs are meant to be disposable but we’ve learned that with gentle use and a good washing they can be used 3-5 times on average before they break. Liberator even sells extra egg lube that comes in a egg shaped bottle just in case you really like the lube that tenga provides in the eggs.


As for how they feel, we’ve decided on soft squishy heaven. The material feels really nice and doesn’t get tacky just from touching it like some other male toys we’ve tried. The inside of the eggs have different patterns and textures depending on the kind of egg. We fully suggest trying them all. The boyfriend absolutely loves the silky and wavy textures but the clicker doesn’t feel good to him at all. It’s all a matter of preference. Perhaps the best thing about this toy for guys is that because it is completely squishy you can decide where you want pressure. So perhaps you just want to play with the head of your penis? Completely doable. Perhaps you want pressure on the shaft going downwards but not upwards? The variety is left up to you. As a couples toy this is a great one for your partner to use on you as well. It’s soft and not intimidating at all. I personally love playing with them just for how they feel in my hands.


For Her:


So now you know how to use the egg with a partner or as a guy but what if you’re a single woman or in a relationship with another woman? These eggs can be turned inside out and will stretch over the head of the Hitachi magic wand. Yes, soft interesting textures on your Hitachi (or any other wand vibrator). I absolutely love this option. It is so ridiculously innovative. I personally love the clicker texture that my boyfriend dislikes. So when we get a pack of eggs I get the clicker and he gets the smoother textures. As stated before the eggs can be reused several times and can be placed back into their little egg containers for later use. As a side note these also make great stocking stuffers or just little surprises. If your guy is going on a business trip slip one of these in his luggage. They won’t stop airport security and they take up so little room. Not to mention it keeps him out of trouble and thinking of how wonderful you are during his trip.


In short, if you like toys, regardless of gender or marital status, pick up a 6 pack and try them all. (Not terribly unlike poke’mon but these have already been caught for you) They are completely worth it and if you decide after 2 or so that these just aren’t for you, you have 4 more little gifts for the friends in your life who will love you forever. Personally we are keeping all of ours and stock piling more for those long months apart along with the rest of tenga’s wonderful line.