Pink Champagne bubbles bursting to the surface and giggling on their way there—that's how I would describe the orgasm that comes with ejaculation.

I didn't start ejaculating until I was almost thirty; it took me a year and help from a willing partner to learn how to let those waters flow.  My cheeks flush, I feel a rush through my body and I giggle, a lot.  Every time I ejaculate, I have to tell myself that it isn't pee.  I get self conscious, and I think to myself "what if this time it really is pee?" But it never is.  It's always that deliciously sweet divine nectar with a scent of the forest after a summer rain.

I get a lot of questions about female ejaculation.  What is it?  Where does it come from?  Isn't it just pee?  How do I learn to do it?  How do I get my girlfriend to do it?  As usual, there is a lack of research available when it comes to deep understanding about the physiology behind female ejaculation.  Here's my understanding from my experience of learning myself and my "hands on" experience helping many women and couples to experience this type of orgasm.

Ejaculate from a woman differs from the ejaculate that comes from a male body.  First of all, there isn't any sperm in the fluid; it is mostly a watery substance that comes from our blood.  The G-spot, also known as the urethral sponge, is a tube of erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra.  Inside of the urethral sponge are paraurethral tubules that sit next to the erectile capillaries.  As the capillaries fill with the blood, liquid from the blood crosses into the paraurethral tubules, filling the sponge with ejaculate.  The ejaculate enters the urethra through paraurethral ducts, and if the conditions are right, this fluid is expelled through the urethra (the opening just above the vagina).  Otherwise it is pushed back into the bladder, where it is urinated out later.  According to Sheri Winston, author of "Women's Anatomy of Arousal", it works very similarly to the "let down" that happens when a woman is breastfeeding.  I have to say that in my own body it does feel a lot like that.  I can feel my urethral sponge filling with fluid and there is such a relief when that fluid is released.  This tells me that oxytocin, the love and bonding hormone, may play a role in female ejaculation, which explains why many women need to feel safe and connected before they can ejaculate.

Female ejaculate does come out of the urethra (where you pee from), which is why many women are afraid that they are peeing.  But what is interesting to me, and one of the things that tells me that it definitely isn't pee, is that it just keeps coming and coming and coming.  Sometimes I wonder how my body can produce that much fluid.  When you go pee you urinate until there is nothing left except for a small amount of residual pee.  But when a woman ejaculates she can keep going and going and going.  In my experience each ejaculation gets bigger and bigger and bigger.  Sometimes the first ejaculation is just a little trickle, but by the fifth orgasm is might be a small bucket's worth of liquid.  This is one major clue to the fact that female ejaculation isn't pee.


What should you do if you are worried about the "pee factor"?  First and foremost, if you are a woman, you might want to try ejaculating by yourself, so that you can see that you aren't peeing.  Try it in the shower or the bathtub.  I find that water really helps me to relax and let go.  If you are a man and your partner wants to ejaculate, you can make her feel at ease by letting her know that you don't care if she does pee on you, and reassure her that most likely it won't be pee.  If it's the mess you are concerned about I highly recommend the Liberator Fascinator Throe.  I use the throe when working with couples and they always exclaim how great it was for them to be able to relax and not worry about making a mess.  It also saves your sheets and makes cleaning up really easy.  You can also have some extra towels on hand to wipe off with if things get really messy.  Mess can be fun too!