I ask this question a lot these days. I ask because I am so curious about how people are educated about sexuality. Most people answer either, "I wasn't, it just happened" or "from pornography", "a babysitter", or "my first lover". Most of our parents didn't really talk to us about sex. We might have gotten a "birds and bees" teaching, but that mostly involved reproduction. You might have groped around in the dark or the back seat of a car, but you really didn't learn much there either. I educated myself with romance novels, and I tried asking my gynecologist, but he didn't seem to know much either.


Do you remember your first time? How much did you know about sex then? I was lucky that my first lover was from Sweden, and he'd had some education. He at least knew how to put on a condom and make it all very romantic.


What surprises me is that most sex educators still don't have much information. How is the general public supposed to learn about sex if the sex educators don't know about sex? Your gynecologist (or your wife's) doesn't even know all of the anatomical structures of the vagina and how they work. (Believe me, I have a number of gynos coming to see me for education!) And sex therapists aren't asking the right questions, especially when it comes to libido.


A lot of people out there think that they know everything about sex. But let me tell you that I will never stop learning about sexuality, and I know a lot. There's a lot to learn and there's a lot to discover. From human desire to sex toys, it's an amazingly rich world. If you think you know it all, most likely you and your partner are missing out on all that is erotically possible.


More important than any technique you read in Cosmo, or any book you pick up on giving her "mind-blowing orgasms", your own body is the ultimate learning laboratory. If you want to learn about sex, start with your own body. Know your anatomy! Find out what kind of touch you like best, see how many orgasms you can have in one self-love session. Once you've learned how to play your own body then it's time to learn your partner's.


Exploration is key when it comes to learning about sex. Play and have fun as you discover what turns your partner on. Maybe it's a touch, or a look, or something naughty whispered in their ear. Take time to learn and to continually discover; it's so worth it.