Dr. Hernando Chaves, a clinical sexologist and sex coach in Beverly Hills, Ca., answers a weekly mailbag of sex advice questions on AskMen.com. A recent question was posed by a reader regarding the introduction of sex toys into lovemaking with his girlfriend. He was concerned that toys would reveal sexual inadequacies on his part to his partner that could potentially lead to her cheating or finding satisfaction elsewhere.


Chaves said this was an issue of sexual confidence. On one side was her, finding confidence and wanting to try sex toys, and the lack of confidence on his side, creating inferiority complexes. The doctor also said worrying about such would be futile:


Here’s a tip that most men don’t know: Those sex toys -- the ones that on the surface make some men feel jealous, angry or inferior -- can become our biggest allies in bed. Don’t waste your time worrying if you compare or stack up to a toy. You don’t get angry at your car for being able to get you to work faster than your legs. Why get mad at a sex toy? It’s just doing its job and trying to help you and your partner out. 

He continued saying women will brag to their friends about how great a lover their man is when sex toys are being used.


We don’t know ifChaves can speak for women, and neither will we try to, but we’d agree that sex toys in the bedroom are nothing but a great idea. And don’t think that only sex toys for her can be used. Think about a We-Vibe 3 or Lelo Tiani 2, the perfect toy to give both partners pleasure.


Read Dr. Chaves’ full response here.