Admittedly, I was thinking more about lush valleys than frozen mountains the first time I told her why I wanted to try going anal.

 

So, after giving me the go-ahead, we were thrilled to learn that there were better reasons to add anal to our bedroom menu than just because it was there. In this case sexual diversity is our end-period, and variety adds spice. Why else are there so many tapas bars and tasting menus? The bedroom gourmet knows that a tossed salad is the ideal addition to the classic sexual surf ‘n turf, complementing prime meat and a select tail.

 

The first time you had caviar, you had to be shown the right way to enjoy it, and before you sample a new place, you probably read a review. Since I haven’t found anything relevant in the Emily Post or the local Zagat®, I offer this how-to anal sex guide to make sure you don’t go off half cocked.

 

If your partner is in the game from the start, great. But if you detect some socially driven reticence, let her know that anal sex is as natural as whole wheat, and remind her that bigger things have come out of there than you want to put in.

 

Next, be ready to demonstrate your savior-faire and skill, because unless your intended is unusually pliant, you may get only one chance to overcome any anal skepticism. I have heard of many well laid plans derailed by clumsiness and misinformation. Remember these three keys to getting anal sex right the first timedirection, lubrication, and relaxation.


Anal sex direction: Notice the direction of the anal antrum (the very first part you get into). It aims toward the belly button, so if you want your entry to be smooth and comfy, aim it that way. And just to whet your appetite, look at what you’re going to pass along the way - Skene’s glands, home of the legendary G-spotAnal sex provides automatic G-spot stimulation through the front wall of the rectum and back wall of the vagina. To ensure a straight shot, I strongly suggest using a pillow like the Liberator Wedge to get your angles pre-set. Alternatively, girl on top works, too, and gives her greater control, which can help her confidence and relaxation. Unsupported doggy works, but comes in a poor third; too much work involved, especially when the top dog is much bigger than his lucky lover.

 

Anal lubrication: Regardless of where you dine, you won’t enjoy your meal unless it’s served on a clean plate. For your first visit to this new in-spot, you need to know a few things first. Normally, the rectal ampulla, the part of the colon just inside the anus, is empty. When full of you-know-what you have the urge to eliminate. Conversely, if you don’t have that urge, it’s ready for anal sex. As with any intimate contact normal hygiene should suffice, with perhaps a little extra attention the first time. Next, you’re going to need plenty of lube. Moisture wise, this hole is not a self starter. Choose your favorite from oil, silicone or water based lubes. Oil based last the longest, but don’t have that natural feel and are difficult to clean up. Water based feel great, but can get a bit sticky after about fifteen minutes. I suggest a silicone based preparation (I like Pjur Man®.) Silicones offer the best of both worlds, withnatural feel and extended performance.

 

The question of condom use often comes up. As with any penetrative sex, disease transmission is always a possibility. If this is a concern, by all means use one, and be sure it is strong and made of latex. Pre-lubed is OK. That said, it’s not mandatory when disease transmission is 100% not a concern. Be prepared though; sometimes when you dip into the honey pot, you come out with a little honey. You decide whether there’s an “ick” factor involved or not.

 

Relaxation: This is vital to guaranteeing a mutually satisfying romp. The doormen here are a pair of circularmuscles, or sphincters. When contracted they keep things in-and out. Unlike almost every other muscle in the body, these guys stay contracted in their resting state. Good thing too, since this keeps your dry cleaning bill manageable. We all learn to recognize that sense of fullness, and control it when we potty train. Years of daily use means you have to learn a new function - to let the sunshine in, so to speak. To relax the sphincters, you have to “bear down” a bit. I suggest you try it once or twice with a well lubed finger, a dildo or better yet, a butt plug (smooth, clean and natural shaped). You might even want try gradually increasing the size of the butt plugs you use. They can be used discreetly anytime and anywhere. Also, if you’re not used to being touched here during regular sex, the natural response to contact is to “clamp down.” To overcome this, the practiced lover always touches first. The ideal time for this touch is when it’s time to gently apply lube. When the time comes to enter, first rub the lubed tip of the penis over the area. Find the bull’s - eye and apply firm but gentle sustained pressure. Make sure this is met with the “bear down” response. A little rocking back and forth and-bingo-you’re in. Go slowly deeper, pausing to assess the response, advancing onward as indicated. Now go to town. It’s cool to go from vag to rectum, but not the reverse, unless you first wash or remove a condom.

 

I hope this gets your pot boiling. If you’ve enjoyed this new taste of heaven, congratulations! You’ve expanded your sexual options, including anal sex.

 

About "Just because it's there": if you don’t know the origin of this famous three word quote, it’s what mountaineer Sir George Mallory answered when asked why he was climbing Mount Everest.